Manoj Bajpayee might be one of the most celebrated actors in the country, but even he has moments when he wants to throw in the towel. In a candid conversation, the actor confessed that for nearly a decade, thoughts of leaving the film industry have crossed his mind repeatedly.
“Yaar aapko sach bataun, kareeb 10 saal se na beech-beech mein mann karta hai ki main chhod doon. Lekin phir kabhi koi role aa jaata hai, phir main chala jaata hoon,” he told Ranveer Allahbadia. The actor emphasized that he doesn’t want to continue working out of necessity — only for roles that truly excite him.
Interestingly, Bajpayee revealed that he is now drawn towards lighter, commercial entertainers after years of intense, psychologically demanding roles. “Aajkal mera bada mann kar raha hai commercial film karne ka… out-and-out slapstick comedy, nonsense comedy. Thoda gaanon-vaanon pe naacho,” he shared, calling it an “escape” from the kind of work he has been doing.
The Dark Side of Intense Roles
The Family Man star acknowledged that some of the darkness from films like Gali Guleiyan, Aligarh, and Bhonsle continues to linger within him. “Sometimes I am aware of the darkness that I feel mentally. Sometimes I exactly know where it is coming from. Gali Guleiyan se aata hai, Aligarh se aata hai, Bhonsle se aata hai,” he said.
Bajpayee added that such roles often lead to intense mood swings and emotional exhaustion, making spirituality an important anchor in his life. The actor also spoke about the physical and mental toll that staying in character for demanding projects can have, even long after the cameras stop rolling.
Confronting Ageing and Mortality
The conversation turned philosophical as Bajpayee reflected on ageing and death. “Whether I look forward to it or not, I have to come to terms with one thing that is constantly changing. The life. You are moving towards your grave, towards your funeral pyre,” he said.
The actor noted that ageing has become increasingly tangible in everyday life. “Jo mere body ke cells the woh sab purane ho rahe hain. I feel it while climbing the stairs, I feel it while coming down the stairs,” he shared. According to Bajpayee, death is an inevitability that people must learn to accept rather than fear.
The Price of Success
Bajpayee also reflected on the sacrifices he made while chasing his ambitions, particularly the time he lost with his parents. “Materialistically, yes,” he said when asked whether the struggle had been worth it, before adding, “But I lost too many things.”
The actor recalled spending much of his life away from home — first in boarding school, then in Delhi, and later in Mumbai — which created a distance between him and his parents. “Sometimes I feel, yaar, kuch samay aur mil jaata mujhe mere pitaji ke saath. We could have understood each other better. Ya meri maa ke saath hum apne personal issues sort out kar sakte the,” he said.
While he acknowledged that success gave him the freedom to choose his work, he admitted that not every sacrifice feels worthwhile in hindsight. “Materialistic fulfilment ke baad jab aap peeche mud ke dekhte hain toh lagta hai ki not all was worth it,” Bajpayee concluded.